A Time of Beholding

It has been some time since I have felt that I should write another blog post.  It is not because I have not had anything to say about what I am experiencing in organic church life.  On the contrary, I had had an abundance of things to write on, if I had felt so inclined.  I had a series of potential posts concerning how I have seen and experienced “Purity of Heart is to Will One Thing” by Soren Kierkegaard lived out in organic church life as I have been reading through it.

The church has gone through significant periods that certainly would be good for others to hear about.  The most incredible of these periods was when a sister in the church was incredibly sick and we witnessed Christ acting not only through her complete healing over a period of a couple of month, but Christ working in all of the church, bringing us into a deeper love for Him and for each other as we all served the sick sister and her family.

Even though there was so much I could have blogged about, I never felt a release to by the Lord.  I have recently come to understand that He has desired for me to be entirely focused on Him, beholding Him, and learning, growing, and living in His indwelling life in the midst of organic church life.  He has drawn my focus to His life here in the present, in the midst of organic church life, and nothing really outside of all that is happening here.

This time of focusing on Him alone has led to many things not being as important as they used to be, although in time I’m sure they will become important again.  The first of which may shock you but I have actually stopped reading my Bible every night.  Before you label me as a heretic, I wish to show why this was so important.  Every person is generally told that you are not a Christian if you don’t ready your Bible.  I have read it cover to cover at least four times but, ever since college and seminary, my reading of Scripture has been nearly lifeless and almost strictly intellectual.  I was not seeking to grow in Christ’s life or have Him continually life more in me through what I read.

In the same way, I have not been able to read anything theological or philosophical in content, not even the books and articles related to organic church.  I have been trying to finish Kierkegaard’s “Purity of Heart”, which I started in November, but have been unable to.  With all I have said so far, I do not at all intend to be anti-intellectual or against reason.  Both are very important but all that many of us in seminaries, colleges, and even churches are taught to use.  Both are important but only if they originate from the life of Christ indwelling within.  Reason and intellect has been the primary lens that I have viewed life for the last six-and-a-half years, while, even though I was a part of a church each Sunday, I never actually learned to grow and live in the vastness of the life  in, of, and through Christ.  I have lived with reason as my defining way of thinking that it seems the Lord has brought in me into a time where I am learning to live and think through His life, and not my own wisdom.

This brings us the final thing that the Lord has removed for this time of focusing: blogging.  What I have meant to with my blog since I moved to Florida is to give people a tiny insight into my life here within organic church life.  However, every once in a while, my blogging has drifted towards sharing this life with you so that I might be noticed.  The only purpose of my blogging should only be conveying Christ to all that should read what I write.  So I’m not sure how much I’ll write after this post but, when I come to a point where

This period of focusing that the Lord has brought me to a place where only the Lord, as well as He through His bride, has been teaching me to live, and so that nothing, not even my own “life” or wisdom could be relied upon. This has led me into a continually deeper revelation of the Lord Jesus Christ that will only continue to grow, which has brought me to a deeper knowledge about myself and my faults.  These have ranged from simply personal habits as far as relationships with others and ultimately the Lord.  Many of these that I have consciously and unconsciously been affected by, the Lord has already begun to heal me of since I have been here.  Through this healing process, every day the Lord becomes dearer than before as He grows in me and I grow in Him and I continue to learn to love my brothers and sisters, as well as others, in new ways.  Every day I continually am learning to say anew, “I no longer live but Christ lives in me.”

So, I do not know when my next post will be.  I hope this post has been edifying and informative about my blogging silence. Until this period of complete focus on the life with the Lord that I am in and in the midst of begins to look different from the present time, I wish grace to you all and peace, through the Lord Jesus Christ.

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~ by hardybeefstew on June 27, 2011.

4 Responses to “A Time of Beholding”

  1. I’m definitely right there with you on the whole “intellect” thing…it’s encouraging to see the Lord’s life working through other brothers in similar ways.

    • It is amazing seeing the Lord work in every brother and sister. You are always an encouragement and blessing to me, as well as the rest of the body.

  2. This was massively encouraging! Thanks so Mich for sharing this experience. I hope to visit an organic church soon!

    • I’m glad I can be an encouragement in the Lord. If you do manage to visit one, do your best to stay for a week or more if you can so you can soak in as much as possible and share in the Lord with the brothers and sisters. That will still only give you the tiniest sliver of organic church life.

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